Ok.
This darn post has been SO HARD to write. Technically, it’s STILL not written!
I keep trying, but I can’t write about BEING REAL, unless I’m actually doing it … And right now I’m finding out how difficult that REAL-LY is!
Starting out, I thought: How hard can it be? … Just
Say what you Do and Do what you Say, right?!
Right! But that’s where it gets hard …
Now that I’m ‘paying attention’, I keep seeing the many ways where my “says don’t match my do’s” or my “do’s don’t match my says” … even though I always thought they did …
OOPS!
Why is BEING REAL so hard?? … with ourselves, with others …
Is it a problem with REAL?
Or is it a problem with us?
HMM.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about in the Bible, where Jesus talks about people being ‘blind’, ‘asleep’ and ‘hypocrites’.
He’s obviously not talking blind or asleep physically, so I started considering mentally … As soon as I did that, I realized pretty quick, that I’m one of the people He’s talking about!
WAIT! WHAT??
Well, when I CAN’T SEE that I’m NOT doing what I say –> I’m BLIND!
And when I DON’T EVEN KNOW THAT I CAN’T SEE –> I’m ASLEEP … and could really use a wake up call!
Oh.
Wow.
Um, HYPOCRITE some?! Why yes, Yes I am …
EEK!
So realizing this, HURTS LIKE HELL … honestly! But, if I can get past the bruised ego, I can see this is an incredible opportunity, right?
Taking a moment to “TRY ON” the word hypocrite -> myself … is so REVEALING!
It’s a chance to WAKE UP from asleep and SEE WHERE I’VE BEEN BLIND TO MY OWN SELF for so long!
A chance to finally start BEING REAL for REAL!
YAY!
A friend of mine had an experience recently with WAKING UP from Asleep:
For years, she always said how much she loved her life. Recently though, she was mulling over some fairly severe health issues that she was having, when suddently the words “I HATE MY LIFE!” just showed up in her head.
With those words, she finally realized that this was honestly how she felt … and telling herself differently for so long was probably contributing to her health issues!
It was so fun hearing her story, though … she was totally ecstatic! Not because she hated her life, but because she had finally realized and could admit how she REAL-LY felt … instead of how she’d always ‘told herself she felt.’
This is the perfect story about Waking up from Asleep and not being Blind to your own self anymore!
HELL YES!
The waking up and not being blind … all starts with SEEING REAL in yourself.
The BEING REAL won’t work until the SEEING REAL does.
Maybe that’s what makes this process SO HARD (and why it takes so long!!)
1- Learning how to REAL-LY listen inside yourself
2- Figuring out SEEING REAL
3- Waking up/Stop Being Blind to your actual feelings, thinkings, sayings and doings
4- Applying the word Hypocrite to yourself … liberally! But with a *big sheepish grin* and a hearty dose of humor that can laugh at yourself while you’re doing it!
HA!
Now that I’ve been using the word *hypocrite* for myself, I’m realizing some very interesting things!
Like how for years, I’d keep *seeing* things in others that I wished *they* would change. But now, I see alot of those **are things in *ME* that I wish were different** and wish *I* would change about myself! I had no idea for so long!!
I need to remember:
We don’t SEE the world as it is, we SEE the world as we are.
and
I can’t actually *SEE REAL* in the world around me,
until I can *SEE REAL* in myself.
Damn MIRROR!
SIGH.
So yeah, I’ve got alot of work to do still on SEEING and BEING REAL. But, you can understand, now, why this post is not written!
Maybe it will take a lifetime … Maybe it just stays unwritten! Or maybe …
It’s already written now … EXACTLY as it needs to be.
Off the cuff
Unpolished
Honest
Vulnerable
Imperfect
… REAL?!!
WAIT!!
Is that me actually BEING REAL?!? You can bet my smile is *big and sheepish* as I FINALLY see “one of my says matching one of my do’s” !
WHEW!!
One step closer to my goal! Maybe the next post I can actually finish … !